When someone walks slower than me: omfg your slow ass is clogging up the hallway for the rest of us put some pep in your step grandma
When someone walks faster than me: jesus christ are you on the run from the police this isn't a race you can tone it down usain bolt
When someone walks at the same pace as me: who gave your creepy ass permission to walk with me get the fuck away before I call the cops
10 hours ago   310481   Reblog

satan-is-not-natural:

ruaniamh:

kaymonstar:

I keep laughing.

HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE

EAT THE FUKCING CHIP YOU PIECE OF SHIT

10 hours ago   574135   Reblog

the-best-of-funny:

X
10 hours ago   85185   Reblog
10 hours ago   3558   Reblog

imaslothandwot:

marcpoop:

COLTON FUCKING HAYNES

omfg I love colton too much

10 hours ago   163882   Reblog

dick182:

shrimpfur:

Once you start dating someone its like, impossible to insult them

"suck my dick" ok

“bite me” hell yeah

"kiss my ass" sure

Basically.

11 hours ago   61641   Reblog

lemongrabvevo:

When you’re in the middle of writing a sentence and accidently press send

image

11 hours ago   360634   Reblog

kaible:

"He’s behind me making that fucking face again. I don’t even have to turn around to know it. God damn it. I hate that goddamned stupid face he makes. God fucking damnit."

11 hours ago   118836   Reblog

kireinahana:

thirp:

I don’t know why but this looks to me like I’m on an operation table receiving surgery from cats

Nevermind this is it

11 hours ago   639218   Reblog

what-the-hells-going-on:

amroyounes:

Lies we tell our kids.  Found this from the postsecret blog.

THEYRE ALL CUTE AND FUNNY UNTIL YOU GET TO THE LAST ONE AND THEN YOU ARE ASSAULTED BY FEELINGS

11 hours ago   489879   Reblog

biruskis:

If the Winter Soldier was responsible for the Kennedy assassination and Magneto tried to STOP the Kennedy assassination then that must mean somehow Magneto lost a fight to a guy wITH AN ENTirE ARm MADE OF METAL

11 hours ago   32966   Reblog

when attractive people have low standards

image

11 hours ago   272977   Reblog

minut3-0f-decay:

i guess you could call me romantic

I know how to ask a boy to prom now

12 hours ago   101   Reblog

peridotpirate:

Some of the very best subtitles

12 hours ago   210502   Reblog

pizzaotter:

somekindofcontraption:

ohyousillypotato:

rogueshenanigans:

makin my way downtown

image

walkin fast

image

faces pass and im homebound

image

image

image

image

What the actUAL FUCK AM I LOOKING AT JESUS CHRIST

MAKE IT STOP OMG

1 day ago   230448   Reblog
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